Cocaine…

The flickering lights and the shabby room
The spinning head coz the music grooves
Things are getting slower or am I moving fast
Why don’t the earth cracks?…when I can hear the blast
Lazing there, I saw..I felt…. what I have never imagined
Trying to hold my senses, slowly moving through the transition
Was it the devil himself or something moved beside me
Blood rush… like volcano erupted inside me
Wooziness is fun and I could feel the trance
Where’s the damn roof ?...Am I talking to stars?
It was just a dash…. but I think the coke hit me
She murmured something…ahh!! that pretty face……why don’t she shut it
My hands are numb and my fingers are getting cold
I laughed for the past and the surprises future beholds
I cried for the love I missed and those I messed up
My heart hobbled…Damn you!!… how many times you wanna break up?
Thirst is dancing on my lips since the start of the night
I want to punch the wall…..hey you!!…..let’s have a fight!!
I sank into the deep dark waters and struggled for a gasp
It somehow broke the shackles and am out of the trap
Somebody turned up the volume and Cobain shouted
Orange, yellow with a little red is what I could make out
I forgave the snakes and forgot the stings
I loved the euphoria…. That I was in
I thought life to be crap and people to be profane
I forgave them all……coz I found my cocaine.

Peace

Love…

I killed her
Not because I hated her that much
I shot her
Just because, I could not forget that touch

I cried that night
Not because I regretted the deed
I cried that night
Just because, I knew it was the need

I remembered her love
Not because it was for me, or it was all mine
I remembered her love
Because, those moments were so fine

I smiled to her
Not because I lost the balance of mind
I smiled to her
Because, even her betrayal was so kind

I shot myself
Not because I was afraid to live life
I shot me in the heart
Because, that’s what I thought love is like.

Hakuna Matata

The Inside Journey

Days months and years passed by….
Was living under this illusion of complete GYAN
Read books and met people…….
Tried being a thinker and even a clown

Every time I thought I have got the answers
I m grown up and I understand
Life turned out again with different colors
Sometimes made me sick….sometimes it was grand

Was taught and disciplined and mind washed
But I wanted to break free…..
Free from the religion society and the caste
Was in search of mah inner self…..just me

Am I just a figment of mah own perception??
Or its just a body and a mind…..??
Taking up different roles .. ohh I so love d deceptions
Playing mah part…….also tried the other sides

Mah choices made me the person I am
Priority was the take of the time…
“To be or Not to Be”….was all that I can
Was taking mah own stand…so big a crime??

Emotions are good …..but does not work 24X7
Logics fail sometimes too…..it just happens
I tried to be many but all I can be is ONE
The Ultimate Truth is what I am seeking………..


Hakuna Matata

The Last Note

Curtains are down and the lights are dim
On to the window shadows blink
Saw my face and my emotions are visible
They won’t understand it….. nothing is feasible

Life outside is fast and ever growing….
I was left out…..didn’t feel like following
Is it just the glass that makes me stand apart
Or the morals that I pursued.. right from the start

All the memories flashed on the window against me
Did I struggle for this?? or was it what I am destined to be??
Friends family and all the people I m leaving
Were they really there or it was just a lie.. I m believing

Bidding goodbye to the things I loved and enjoyed
Stepping to my next goal… I can really see the void
With a sigh of relief…. opened the window
It was time…….time to… leave behind the shadows

It’s my decision and my choice to fly…….
Don’t wan’t you to feel bad…..don’t want you to cry………


Hakuna matata

Inside me

22 years in the making and things changed
My feelings ....my emotions.…felt strange
Gone are the sunny days….days of the carefree
Time has changed and so is the person… I used to be
My perspective....... about the world around me
Carved out this rage….. Inside Me

Cramming and beatings…is what I make of education
Scaring the children….building up the frustration
Competition and cutting other’s neck… was the motive
Couldn’t make up to the pace….tried as hard as it can be
But it changed the vision…how I feel n how I see
Bringing out ….the other side of Me

Caste, Community and religion is what I was taught
But could not justify still….why the hell… people fought
It’s plain biology…… got that in school….and that’s what I’ve found
We all are just homosapiens….some are dumb and some are sound
Then why this hullabaloo….the fighting spree
Don’t know….but …creates an uproar Inside Me


Democracy……I thought…….was freedom for people
But politics and power games…..making my country cripple
Vote banks and allegations is what they have made it
If there’s no nuisance….Well then create it
It’s simple…..why people can’t see
I can…..it’s the other side of Me


Bomb blasts and communal riots…..is what people want now
“Live and let live”…seems ….they cannot see it somehow
Humanity is redefined, because minds are getting nihilistic
“Let’s make world a better place”…seems sarcastic
But I would rise……. Stand against it all….
I can…coz…I’ve got what it takes….Inside Me……….

Hakuna matata

Gaurav the jerk!!!!!!

The straight guy without ne motives
I live like that only
Mah rules mah psyche….m in love with
Tasting life closely
Living just to have fun…m having a blast….
Started vid it…..carrying it to the last
Sannu nayi painda koi fark …ne more
Happpy being gaurav the jerk…right frm the core


Maa asked me to be sensitive n listen…..
Paa wanted me to b responsible…
Nah….its not that easy….
U cn tame a dogs tail…..tht seems possible…
Riding mah cycle...who gives a F fr merc ……
Happy being gaurav the jerk….


She said she would love me n do care
Bt I cudnt stay too long…. Just fr 1 fare…
Cycle sadi rukdi nahin kissi de vaste…
So…. « jaanu…..tu apne raste main apne raste…… »
Utar gayi uske chehre ki chamak……
Still….. happy being gaurav the jerk……..


Frnds said….”sudhar ja sale”….pehen le gulabi
Ban ja aadmi…..dhund le hamari bhabhi..
Life demands sacrifice…..deni hogi mujhe qurbani…
But wht can I do……bhagvan nhn banata ladki shayani….
Change the gals….change the world……nw thts mah work……
Its mah job…..job for gaurav the jerk



Hakuna matata

I RAN

I RAN
From the miseries and the pain
From the mud to come out clean
From Darkness to the light
From the helpless to the might

I RAN
From the people and the love
From the responsibility all above
From the tears and the emotions
From the care and the relations

I RAN
From the exhaustion to the solace
From the crowd to my space
From the heart to the mind
Until I went blind…..

I Stopped
When I found the answers and all
When I could feel the soul
When I was able to see
When I found me…………

Hakuna matata

My Self-righteousness

Killed them all, coz that was right
Its no longer about me, the whole fiery fight
They should have thought before this devilish deed
They have to cry now……regret, shout and bleed
I did not make enemies, it was always them
I followed the right, It was my self-righteousness
Never believed in violence….
Wasn’t my fault….so was my experience
I wanted peace and harmony all around
Hatred, jealousy and war is what is found
“An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind” is what I was taught
Why don’t they respect humanity…and that is why I fought
Lost my optimism and guilt conscience …….
Negative plus negative makes positive...read that in science
But still somewhere deep inside……I feel things would change…..
Till then m struggling…. when everybody seems strange

Hakuna Matata